Ten more minutes.
I never lost mine, I just absorb other peoples’, making my virginity grow stronger and stronger in preparation for the final battle.
THIS IS MY FAVORITE ANON ANSWER OF ALL TIME I’M SO GLAD I FOUND IT AGAIN
Lessons will be repeated until learned. Also, what you resist, persists.
Life will keep giving you that thing until you learn the lesson.
Of all the Muppets, Mr. Snuffleupagus was the most elusive. He was also my favorite.
Look, man, get it together. You don’t see Mr. Snuffleupagus gifs every day.
I haven’t reported on
(what do I even call her. Picture a turducken. If a turducken could take human form, encompassing personality aspects of all three poultries, plus a parakeet that pecks me to death, that would be her.)
I haven’t reported on Ms. Poopypants in quite some time. For those that are curious about what kind of horseshit she’s up to, voila:
1.) Still saying www. before every reciting of our website or any other website. The World Wide Web! Still peering into her monitor like it’s a bottomless pit filled with dead fish. Still clicks on every link that grabs her attention and, when she gets a virus, tells boss, “I don’t know how it got there.” I wish we could just defer all the computer not-very-literate people to her, but alas, life is not fair.
2.) I can pretty much tell where she is in her month of Xanax by how she’s acting. There goes that telltale rattle under her desk again. Can’t wait til Friday, when she’ll be out of them!
3.) No stinky tilapia smells coming from lunchroom lately. I think she FINALLY got the message that that is NOT OK with the rest of the humans. I doubt it’ll stick. She’ll get in the mood for fish and realize we are just cartoon characters in her personal drama anyway.
Tiny Frog - Amazon Rainforest, Peru
This frog has absolutely no business being this tiny.
awwwwww i have feels over a lil frog
He’s thinking God dude clean your nail(s) gross.
I would pee myself laughing here all day long. Nobody here has a sense of humor. It would be the biggest mystery of ALL TIME.
I dunno, you guys. The new Jurassic Park movie looks pretty lame.
Goddammit George, bananas again?
My anaconda will consider it
My anaconda has, upon review of the information presented with it’s partners, decided that it, in fact, does not. My anaconda apologizes for any inconvenience this may cause and thanks you for your time.
My anaconda is willing to consider a second interview if you bring donuts and coffee.
Ralph Waldo Emerson (via seabois)
I wish it wasn’t, but it is. At work, it’s like winning the lottery.